If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
