I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's rum buckets o'clock
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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