dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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