im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We named our party play list daddy issues
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
