some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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