The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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