would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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