I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
