I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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