chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
