Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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