I faked an abortion last night.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
