Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
