It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
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He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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