so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
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