i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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