very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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