Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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