they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
