Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize