WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
