So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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