Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
