Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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