i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
