wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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