someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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