no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize