I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
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Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I am one with the molecules
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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