somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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