I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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