There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize