Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!