nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?