Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.