So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
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Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.