i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
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