Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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