I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
