The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
