i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
