Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
