Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
