Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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