You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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