I just pynch a tree in the face
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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