Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
