Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't deserve a penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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