You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
