careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
