I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
