My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
