that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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