u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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