My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
