If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
