Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
