I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
